There is anguish in the air. Spiritual anguish. And one can
feel it pulsating.
Since last many months things seems to be falling apart and
souls seems to be stumbling in dark. Darkness of Faith and Darkness of
Uncertainty.
Many devotees saw the reality of Path they were following.
As their honoured Guru was pulled in controversies and taken in custody. Whom
to trust ? The bewildered souls , loosing Faith. And again stumbling in
darkness. Probably for many births to come. May be never being able to trust so
easily again. Why ? why such hard blow on their childlike Faith ?
Sometimes i even think, how this betrayal must hit so hard. The disciple and MASTER relation is as sacred and as intimate, in spiritual sense , as a relation of spouses. Or lovers. When one lover or spouse betrays another, the pain of this betrayal hits so hard. A pain beyond comparison. When a GURU/MASTER, proved fake, betrays His disciple/ soul. How hard it must hit. The pain must be equally unbearable. I certainly feel so.... It is a betrayal far greater then even marriage betrayal of this physical world. And the pain is greater then a betrayal of a spouse.
Sometimes i even think, how this betrayal must hit so hard. The disciple and MASTER relation is as sacred and as intimate, in spiritual sense , as a relation of spouses. Or lovers. When one lover or spouse betrays another, the pain of this betrayal hits so hard. A pain beyond comparison. When a GURU/MASTER, proved fake, betrays His disciple/ soul. How hard it must hit. The pain must be equally unbearable. I certainly feel so.... It is a betrayal far greater then even marriage betrayal of this physical world. And the pain is greater then a betrayal of a spouse.
Yet many devotees are waiting for their BELOVED to come out
of Samadhi. Craving one news of HIS wellbeing. Patiently and faithfully waiting
and hoping. Not a shred of doubt on their non shakeable Faith. May their faith
bring them best news soon.
And yet another group of souls .... eagerly and desperately
await the news of wellbeing of their BELOVED. When will HE get well ?
Feels like ages. Feels like every breath is Anguished. Feels
like every breath now craves for some good news. Any good news.
Many souls debates, many asks questions ... is it because of
us ? is HE suffering because of us ? We even ask this question when HE despite
HIS being so unwell, gives us chance to talk to HIM.. some how this question
lost it’s urgency long ago. Amidst HIS sickness, and waiting for news of HIS
well being. This question lost it’s need to be answered. The only thing
remains.... when will HE be back to normal ? Back being well, and THEN between us.
HE ask us – when we don’t meditate. Is this our Love ?? But
now our soul whispers.... is this YOUR love ? When soul beseech HIM... have
proper rest BELOVED, be well and then come between us. We want to see YOU well
now. Not like this.... no.... not like this. Yes, this Definitely is HIM
suffering on our behalf... so that HE just can be between us.
I have no idea about many of you, my dear fellow souls....
But coming to this path so late... knowing my BELOVED so late. Already put
urgency in my soul. I dreaded that day.... when HE just might leave this earth
before me. Always praying --- for one good karma i just might have performed. Some
where in some life... let me go before YOU. I am sure many souls whispers such
prayers to BELOVED in their own heart.
And so it feels like ages, heart torn apart, alternately
hoping and sometimes scared out of wits. What will HE decide ? and another hope
whispering simultaneously ...... let HIM decide to get well now... just get
well now.... whispering.... if I loved YOU truly for even one single moment.
One single moment of pure SIMRAN or REMEMBERANCE .... take everything..... and
just come back well to me...
Until recently, we started feeling the anguish on deeper
level. Nothing seems to hold attention for long. While once looking into future
and dreaming of union with HIM, used to take up most of time, while days used
to blend into constant waiting for being with HIM... now , days seem longer. Future
yields no dreams. As day goes by..... every wish , that used hold HIM in centre
, seems to leave heart. And i realized. Nothing else matters, accept HIM. HIS
being between us, same as ever. Laughing, smiling, scolding, beseeching us to
meditate. Delivering discourses, inspecting new things, new boundaries to be
made.... giving HIS souls, HIS company. And while i from afar .... learning all
these things from some lucky soul , who went and saw HIM in action. It has
always been suffice to survive, it will remain suffice to survive... if only HE
is well.
Accepted that HE is shabad incarnate. Accepted that this is not HIS true form. Accepted that HE can never leave us alone.... But then we haven't yet learned to go out of limits of mind and matter. Our meditations hasn't yet revealed us TRUTH if HIS Divine form. Nor have we yet the bliss of HIS word form... we are still very much in need of HIS this form. Can't yet let go.... YOU still have to teach us to go above mind and matter. YOU still has lot to do....
Accepted that HE is shabad incarnate. Accepted that this is not HIS true form. Accepted that HE can never leave us alone.... But then we haven't yet learned to go out of limits of mind and matter. Our meditations hasn't yet revealed us TRUTH if HIS Divine form. Nor have we yet the bliss of HIS word form... we are still very much in need of HIS this form. Can't yet let go.... YOU still have to teach us to go above mind and matter. YOU still has lot to do....
Things happening all over.... all the set backs of spiritual
world. All the ... news.... comes up to only this point.... no we don’t want to
loose YOU .... World seems unimaginable without YOU. Souls all over are loosing
their BELOVED, some way or another. And it feels like a cry of pure Anguish of
souls, is surrounding the creation. With YOU being far, and unwell. World seems.....
not at all --- right. Come back WELL BELOVED. Just be well now....
TUMSE raha nahi jataa, duuriya humse bhi sahi nahi jaati,
Par sach maano halat aise bhi TUMHARI dekhi nahi jaati.
Ye kaisa ishq hai TUMHARA, na jeene deta hai na tootne,
Saanse is kadar atki hai, ki ek saans chain se lee nahi
jaati.
Duniya ke is jungle me nannhi ruuhey bhatakti hai,
TUMHARE bina main ek kadam ab chal nahi sakti.
TUM le lo mere saare sapno ka, ye karwaa khatam kar do,
Bus bhar do wo umeed TUMHARE lautne ki, jo todi ab nahi jaati.
YOU can’t live without us, and we can’t live without YOU,
But it is not easy for us to keep seeing YOU like this.
What kind of love YOU are giving ? it’s not letting me live
nor break down.
My breaths are laboured , can’t take one breath easily.
In this forest called world, every single soul is feeling
lost,
And i for one, can not take one single step without YOU.
Take away all my dreams and finish every single wish,
But let me be left with this one hope fulfilled , of YOU
coming back to us.
Amen.
Peace and Bliss. Roohi....
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