FEAR FACTOR :)

FEAR.........

The most awesome emotion on the path of LOVE
Sounds like a paradox !! isn't it ??
And yet it is not...

Fear is essential on the path of Love. Love without fear is incomplete. At least till love is the only essence left in the being. Then fear is not needed. Nor can it stay.


We all have known various degrees of fear. When ever we have loved, we have known the fear, which accompanies love. Fear of loosing the loved on, fear of loosing the love. Fear of betrayals, fear of annoying the loved one. Fear of well being of loved one. So each one of us know that fear naturally accompanies LOVE.

Yet as much as these fears keeps us involved in worldly love, it keeps us away from divine Love. But when this fear becomes a part of our heart, on the path of BELOVED. It becomes the biggest gift from -- the DIVINE FATHER.  It becomes most precious gift , a gift par words. A feeling, an emotion, to be enjoyed to it's fullest.

What exactly is spiritual path for us ? Not many of us have this idea. We are some times drawn in this path without clear aim in sight. Many of us just walk thru it blind to it's beauties. Just as we walk thru whole life without ever living.  Experiencing myriads of emotions without appreciating their beauty. We say we are in pain. Pain of love. Yet never actually understanding it's beauty. Yes, even pain has it's own beauty. We believe in so many theories. Throughout our whole life, we collect so many theories. Without ever testing their truth. They are actually very much like a hobby collection for us. If we don't  treat them as collection, we would actually want to experience them . And may be we are too afraid of actual experience. We stay away from experience, in cozy security of mere collections.

It's easy to keep repeating theories. Theories which says... that only HE exists. Nothing else is. Or , HIS love is infinite. HIS love never leaves us. Even if we are bad children, HE still loves us. And it's altogether a different phenomena to really experience all these theories, in reality. Till then we may keep screaming theories. But we are just being a parrot. Have we really known the unity from BELOVED ?? Do we really know ? that only HE exists ??

For that we need to walk the walk. Not just keep talking the talk. And that doesn't happen without fear.

This holiest of most holy fear, makes us tremble with fear of loosing the chance to win BELOVED's love. Makes us silently wither in pain, after doing any such deed , which just mite displeasure the BELOVED, making us more resolved to make us more better.  Makes us sit in HIS remembrance, makes us breath in HIS remembrance , makes us do everything in HIS presence... lest we loose this wonderful opportunity and remain separated from HIM for one more birth. And who knows about the next ??

Sant Kabir ji says--  Without this fear , the lovely feeling of Love doesn't arrise, Without fear there is no love. If this wonderful fear leaves the devoted heart, every single beauty related to love, leaves that heart .

What exactly is our theory regarding BELOVED ?? The Divine Power ??
We know from books, satsangs and enlightened MASTERS that our BELOVED loves us very much. It's HIS love that pulls us to this path. Which many of when we were born in this birth actually never thought or considered worthy enough to  find even. And yet here we are , struggling to understand what are we doing here ??
So the theories say HE loves us without expecting anything from us. HE is merciful father who keeps forgiving our multiple misdeeds. Even as we keep repeating them. It's amazing how much we can justify ourselves. never thinking we may be wrong this one time, or many times. Even a serial killer can justify himself. Otherwise he cannot keep repeating his serial killings. It's the power of justification, that he keep on taking life after life. We are just ordinary human beings, living ordinary life, life after life, after life. Here is something amazingly extraordinary in our existence, in this birth. And yet we choose to ignore it. We choose to ignore HIM, HIS actual love. Justifications are so many. That we can fill volumes after volumes.

Yet, once thru this all we can never consider one thing--- HE just mite choose to stay away from us. Once more.  Nah, how can that happen ?? well spiritual scriptures say.. once HE takes hold of our hands, HE doesn't let go. Doesn't they say as much. ? They can not all be wrong ?? Can they ? Nah, oh !! HE will find a way to keep holding on to us. HE can not leave. Even if we do.
What a selfish outlook we assume.

But then HE really finds a way... HE choose to fill HIS chosen hearts with ---- FEAR. :)

To live in constant fear of loosing BELOVED makes a loving heart more eager for union. The lover works more eagerly for that union.

And when the lover considers every heart as the residing place of his BELOVED, that's where the lover starts respecting each and every heart as BELOVED's home.

We as mere ordinary human beings never learn to forgive and respect each and every heart. Even if justify ourselves as , most forgiving, adjusting and loving person. Yet here and there we keep overlooking this important factor- in each heart HE lives. Be it as reactions or as actions, We keep hurting others... in the name of self defense.

MASTER says--- it's very easy to hit back , when some one hits you. Even a small child can do that. But it's more loving and brave thing to react with love. With humbleness. HE says... once we can see the BELOVED's face in each being , we will be forced to love every being. Here still comes the need for experience. But ......
But ... till then... the fear of HIS displeasure, the need for HIS happiness, the need to win HIS love for our ownself... when these needs becomes priority for us... then ... and only then... we choose to react with love and humbleness. we choose to let go of our ego. Put it at the feet of our BELOVED , so it just mite win HIS favour... and HIS smile :)
Just one smile... :)

Then Sant Kabir Ji says...
It's fear that makes us do all kind of loving things for BELOVED, It's fear which is ultimately a Master, which teaches us to bow down at BELOVED's feet. It's fear which is a philosphers stone. Just as philosphers stone can turn iron into gold. This fear turns us into... a fit vessel for Divine Love. The lover who fears the seperation from BELOVED ... is bound to wake up and work for HIS pleasure, and the ones who are bereft of this amazing emotion... keeps sleeping, unaware of the fact that BELOVED awaits their attention...
So finally it's fear that really forces us to start walking towards BELOVED. And it's fear of hurting HIM, HIS heart that makes us want to respect each soul, walking thru the tough path of life. Yes, ultimately it's HIM and HIS precious heart that we succeed in hurting when we choose to hurt any single soul.

So HE does find a way ... to make us more aware of HIM. Welcome this precious gift from HIM, with open heart.... feel the fear of loosing HIM... and if we can't ... then may be before the prayer for union... we really shud be praying to HIM for this gift of FEAR.

We really shud come out the comfort zone of theories, that HE will not leave us alone... and start working towards... never being alone without HIM... :)

It's only then within the circle of BELOVED's love, that we will finally be rid of FEAR.  HIS love and fear for HIM, already purges us from petty fears of world and it's various kind of loves. As the soul turns it's back from worldly loves. In favour of HIS love. And merging with HIS love makes soul forever.... fearless.

And finally some lovely sayings from some Lovers Of BELOVED--

Those who fear, serves GOD thru dread of seperation from HIM. Al - HUJWIRI

Hope and fear are as two wings without which the work of the saint cannot make progress. Al - Sarraj
Abu Al Jili said about man who fears--- He is the man who is made to trust ( in GOD ) by those things which are rightly feared, because he does not let fearful things disturb his mind, being removed from them by his fear of GOD , so that such things will be removed from him.

( the spiritual traveller who only fears seperation from BELOVED is free from worldly things and there attractions... these attractions being , in reality , more fearful things, as these keeps the soul away from BELOVED. )

Fear is a gift from GOD, who has decreed that HIS servants shud fear , and holy fear , that dread which is salutary for the soul.  The sufi Saying.
LOVE is not perfect without fear , nor fear without hope, nor hope without fear. --- Al- Sarraj
And when this holy fear works it's wonder, we recieve this stage-

There is no fear in love, but perfect love caste out fear.  St John.

And in the end the one from RABIA BASRI Herself---

Only GOD HIMSELF was to be feared with the reverence due to HIS awful holiness, hope was only in GOD HIMSELF , in the vision of HIS beauty.
HER fear of seperation was so great that SHE used to constantly pray thus-- I take refugee in YOU, from everything which has distracted ME from YOU, and from every hinderance which has hindered ME from YOU.

May this holy fear make it's place in each and LOVER's heart , May the BELOVED bestow the beauty of this emotion in HIS lovers bosom .

PEACE AND BLISS TO ALL.

AMEN..

One Year Later

It is said that the path of spirituality is very DYNAMIC. On the path we grow daily. Even if we ourselves are unaware of this growth taking place. The story P.U.S.H appropriately teaches us this message. And the enigma is--- the more we grow the more we realize --- that the less we know. :) Yes, this is the enigma on the path of spirituality. And there's one more truth that we now know from the deep core of our heart/soul. That turning back to this world is no longer an option. In fact the option doesn't exist any more. Coz now the divine intoxication is the only thing that soul craves for. This need is something , which now even mind acknowledges. :)

Things of past, the world and it's temptations no longer seems enough. And if this is growth. it sure does tells us one thing.... We have only one option left---- To Move Ahead.... :)

One whole year has past, since i as a blogger, felt any need to write anything. There was a silence , or probably just a need of silence. And now-- may be a feeling of surety, of gaining a foothold, in the ability to contain this silence.

And yet here i am, sharing with all of you, the soul's of loving GOD... some little things i learned during past year. In the place which my GOD, :) in HIS loving grace , considered fit as my earthly abode. :)

VALUE OF SATSANG :)

NO. I am not here to write a discourse on satsang and it's value. I consider myself hardly worthy enough. But here i learned in reality the value of satsang from some truly blessed souls. GOD's best children. And i feel myself lucky enuf to learn it from the book of life itself. And not from some spiritual books.  :)

To understand my point , i need to show all of you the picture of this area, where i live.

In the interiors of Himachal, villages still exists, where transportation facility is a dream. 5 years ago, even road didn't existed. Now some villages can boast of a Kaccha road. Which is road made of dirt and stones. Some villages can boast of bus service once a day or even twice weekly. And some villages are still way beyond any reach of road. Villagers travel by foot. sometimes for days to reach another village. Carrying any provision is a huge task. So most them grow their own food. And live frugally. And GOD forbid if there is anyone sick and needing medical attention at home. Then they need more then four helping hands. They strap the sick person on a cot and carry the person to the nearest possible road, where they then wait for any bus or vehicle to arrive. And when it's winter, well here mostly it's winter :) and the snow falls upto 3 feet. No one in plains, who visit hills just to escape summer heat, can ever understand the toughness of season called-- winter snow. And nor can imagine the walking in snow part. :) That's called remote areas. And this is a very small picture which i m giving you all here. The toughness of this kind of life is still hard to imagine.

Now , these interiors have been living their own kind of secluded lives. The religion they follows may lift eyebrows of people living in cities. But for them this is the way of their life. Their rituals. They believe in DEVTAS. And bring home the statues of many DEVTAS for various reasons. ( It's like bringing Ganesha or Devi in Nav ratraas.) Be it fulfillment of wishes, to eradicate sickness, for prosperity or even for other malicious wishes. But the essential part of this ritual contains- SACRIFICE. And this happens almost daily in some house of every village. We can not calculate the enormous amount of animal lives being taken in one single day.

In this picture- Householders Taking DEVTA at their home.

For details--

http://books.google.co.in/books?id=JH-gI4ncuZ4C&pg=PA131&lpg=PA131&dq=devta+pooja+in+himachal.&source=bl&ots=VZQ7t19Kce&sig=0RsvPSAbEan9hSQrvosybUN9Xhs&hl=en&sa=X&ei=NZfMT7_AF8XIrQe16IzDDg&sqi=2&ved=0CFoQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q&f=false

And this is not all. Despite the growth of human society , here are many places which still performs- BHUNDA. Which is the ritual of Human sacrifice. One such incidence was recently witnessed in the village of Devthi, the Mahayagya which demands human sacrifice. This was attended by thousands of people. This was attended by all Devtas with their Pujaaris too. And many news channels. First JAIDI ( he is the man choosen for sacrifice ) was worshiped . And made to sit on rope between two hills.  If he dies , his family is taken care by the hosting village. But this time this man was saved. he lived. If he dies it is considered as sacrifice accepted by Devtaas.

( If some one interested to explore more, here are 2 links about this particular ritual. )--

http://hillpost.in/2007/03/12/himachals-bhunda-narmedh-mahayajna/1579/people/religion/yashrazz

and also

http://www.travelintelligence.com/travel-writing/vestiges-human-sacrifice


So this the kind of living , the villagers still lives in this year of 2012. Here, becoming the follower of any spiritual path, which consists giving up- non-veg diet, animal sacrifices, and any giving up of outward rituals like worshiping DEVTAS, means bycotted by other villagers, ridiculed or even putting up with malicious remarks etc. So following a perfect living MASTER, in these DEVTA worshiping villages, is remarkable beyond words.

After this brief picture i will now take you all-- about how i learned the value of satsang from these simple villagers.

We have been given twice weekly satsangs by our MASTER, every where. But many of us still doesn't appreciate the value of these twice a week satsang. We are barely able to understand the value of sunday satsangs. We manages to find reasons to avoid. Why weekly satsangs are necessary is another topic altogether. Sufficient to say that our mind doesn't appreciate the value of spirituality in middle of worldly temptations, and so we need reminders weekly :) Well, atleast i am one of such person, who can't appreciate weekly necessity of satsang.:)

But then i came in contact with these simple souls. and was amazed by their dedication. They start walking since friday or saturday, to reach the nearest point , where weekly satsang is held. For 45 minutes of satsang they walk for hours. Reach the place , cook food rest at whatever place they find. Attend satsang. With rapt faces, love in their every single body pore. After 45 min, they rest, cook afternoon meals and start their long walks back home. Sometimes a preacher will come and deliver the discourse in another language. Like punjabi. And they can hardly understand much. Any yet, nothing can keep them away. Coz in the middle of frenzy of animal sacrifices and other rituals, their only touch with spiritual environment is these weekly 45 minutes. Since like plains they don't have twice a week satsangs. And may be that's for good. Coz then they will be just walking and walking. :)

Once i asked ---- how much can you understand when other language is taken for satsang discourse. To an old illiterate loving soul. She smiled and blissfully replied- oh ! i understand this much-- do simran, listen to shabad. do simran and listen to shabad. And i was speechless at the apparent Love and contentment on her face. :) And these are people who can not travel frequently .... so faaar... to visit their MASTER. Not like many of us who are privileged enough to be able to attend HIS every visit, HIS every satsang. And yet, Shud they receive opportunity after considerable time to see their MASTER, these are the simple most souls... who sit faaaaaaaaaaar behind... closing their eyes, faces full of love, eyes watering.... just worshiping HIM from afar  , nor complaining, nor demanding....

YES... I FEEL HUMBLED....


In front of them.... i learn much.

VALUE OF SEWA.......

 NO , i have no idea about sewa, and so i m not giving discourse about sewa. I m merely sharing what i learned.

I live in ac home, full of luxuries. And at satsang ghar i person like me !!!!! sits down to break stones. Manages to break a few. Half stones i can't break. I leave them. And when it's time for MASTER's visit. I consider myself foremost worthy of HIS closest DARSHAN. After all my sacrifice is greater. A padmaavati like me... raised like a princess , doing physical labor!!!! oh !! these poor villagers they live with physical hardships and do all kind of labor. So, for them it's hardly a difficult task.. Like it was for "ME".!!!

Here many satsang ghars are still in development phases. They need to level earth. Well it's hills . Remember ?? They level earth , build temporary shed to remain some how safe from weather extremities. And then there are places where HE just might visit. So here we learn the value of sewa.

They will leave their fields.  Which is the major part of their livelihood. Just to do sewa in satsang place , where HE might visit. They forget about their own livelihood works. And Dear souls, let me tell you all, that sun can be very harsh on hills. Since it feels some how more closer. And after such nasty sunny day, rains can lash anytime for hours altogether, ceasing only to make weather extremely cold even in summer. So weather here decides to show her every extreme color at swing of her mood.

And these loving souls at the call of need for sewa..... They abandon every work, they mite be needing to do and walk for hours to satsang ghar. Picking up bus where they can. Or walk, if the wait for bus is too long. Figuring that they can cover much area, walking, rather then to wait for bus. And when they reach------ They will place grass at huge areas of about 55 beeghaas. With sun beating their bent bodies. They work from early morning to late night. Langar being prepared round the clock. They put flowers, they put creepers for MASTER's eyes to behold. And when HE comes, they manage hugest possible traffic. At HILLS !!!! Making it such tough work to keep every one safe on narrow hills. That we can not imagine while sitting in plain areas. 

While many are asked not to visit the area , where HE is delivering satsang. They never go without HIS permission. Never say.. we have done so much sewa. We are entitled. Nope. They never utter a word.Even when some of them haven't been to their homes for more then 2 months. Yes, many of them are even now working in satsang land, newly purchased, to make it suitable for satsang. So what, that they can afford the time. Since they are now retired etc... yet.. their age demands rest. One such soul --- who has 6 months ago undergone a huge accident, which tore apart his half scull , is now for more then 2 months , working in satsang land. Just so that it can be ready in fastest possible time. Can we ever compare such devotion, from any other worldly things ? we can never.

And many are still given such sewa, where they can not hear HIS discourses , nor can have HIS DARSHAN...

And yet eyes full of love and devotion, just thinking of HIS pleasure, They yet again do sewa for visiting Sangat and their MASTER. Never asking a place where they too can see their MASTER. For whole year they do sewa. And still unable to attend HIS satsang. And if they do attend they sit faaar behind. Specially if they belong to hosting satsang ghar. This is selfless sewa.

YES, I FEEL HUMBLED.

In front of their undemanding and selfless services, i ask myself, what right do i have to demand HIS better darshan ?? If HE chooses to bestow HIS loving glances on these souls , then they deserve such treat. Who am i to complain ??

No, i can't walk for miles, and that too on hills. No i can not come out of my atmosphere controlled house and do such long hours , selfless sewa. No i can't even get up early in the morning and attend to my Meditation. All i can do is complain to HIM about HIS apparent carelessness towards me...


Here i am struggling with the issue of HIS physical darshan, It's value and it's meaning for me....

And here i am ..... one year later, coming to conclusion ....

I HAVE MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP, MILES TO GO....  

THERE ARE YET PART OF MY OUTER SPIRITUAL LIFE I HAVE TO LEARN...

AND I KNOW EVEN LESS THEN, WHAT I THOUGHT, I KNOW, ALMOST 4 YEARS AGO... :)

PEACE AND BLISS TO ALL. MAY HE BESTOW SUCH VALUES ON US, AND SOON... :)